Striving for Financial Peace

For years, I've been hearing about Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and the Debt Snowball. But nothing ever seems to be offered in our area.

I'm a member of the Family Ministries Team at our church, so I recently got the green light to go ahead and coordinate the FPU class to be offered this summer! Yay!

In preparing to lead a class I've never attended, I've been studying and working out personal budgets. Thankfully, our debt is quite small, other than the $5000 I still owe in student loans and our mortgage. And the refrigerator, which we financed at 0% for 24 months because when we got home from Disney last July, ours had died. I drive a 2001 Chevy Suburban with 221,000 miles on it. Ole Bessie is mostly reliable, but hubby is going to need to do an overhaul soon. But she's paid for. So is hubby's truck. And the kids bought their own vehicles (cash).

In working out my budget, I went through the last 12 months of my checking account statements and came up with this list. I share it here because there are things we often overlook and they catch us by surprise. Or one month the phone bill is paid a week late because we didn't budget for church camp and it's time to send the kid.

Here's the list of where I'm "enveloping" funds:

Mortgage & HELOC
Groceries
Electric
Water/Sewer
Cell Phones
Car Insurance
Student Loan
Life Insurance
Medical/Dental (setting aside for co-pays)
Gasoline
School expenses (field trips, class fees, etc.)
Photography (senior pics, sports pics, family...)
Camps & Athletics (these are my budget busters!)
Property Taxes (paid once a year, but our county bills in December!)
DMV / license renewals
Vacation fund
Personal Care
Entertainment (includes dinners out, vineyard memberships, etc.)
Pool supplies & maintenance
Clothing
Home Maintenance & Decor
Gifts (Christmas, birthdays, secret sisters, graduations, etc.)
Tithes
Mad Money
Savings

I should point out that we don't have credit card debt, but we do use a credit card for day-to-days and pay it in full each month. We also don't have a cable/internet bill - my mother lives with us, and when I decided to trim expenses this was going to be cut and she now pays it because she wants to have it at the house.

This is still quite new to me, so if you notice I've left something off the list that you would budget for, please let me know!

Why Not Live My Dream?

For years, I have dreamed of becoming an Interior Decorator. Back in my early 20's, before the internet, I took a correspondence course and had completed everything but the final payment (I was dirt poor at that time with lots of student loans from college), so I never got the formal "certificate". Twenty years later, after putting my career dream on hold to be a full time Momma, I believe it's time to Live my Dream.

I'm working on a few portfolio projects right now. My kitchen will be gutted this summer, but as I currently work for a cabinet maker & Master Woodworker, he's given me free reign to design what I want with Sketch-Up and we will make it all happen. Goodbye builder-grade oak and laminate countertops with a horrid layout - we're going glazed white French Country with rubbed bronze, a desperately-needed island, and a built-in wine cooler & bar area.

In mid-April, I'm redoing my electrician's kitchen. His wife is a dear friend and also hates her builder-grade Honey Oak cabinets, so we'll be doing a custom glaze job. He doesn't want them painted (and honestly, oak doesn't paint well due to the grain), so we'll be going with what we're calling a "Chocolate Nutmeg" that's warm and glowing.

This weekend is my own Master Bedroom makeover - Sherwin Williams "Smokey Blue" on the walls.

I have done my kids' rooms - I just need my photographer to come get decent shots for the portfolio. In trade, I am doing his Master Bedroom, hopefully in May or June. Scheduling hasn't been easy this spring due to travel volleyball & varsity tennis! But here's a sneak peek that I snapped of the teen boy's room (the logo on the wall is our high school's logo):

And the girls' room:

I hand-painted the flowers to make a border on the chalkboard area.

So I need to gather a few more projects - bathrooms, living areas, and screened porch. Mostly if I clean a couple of those, I'll have them photo-ready. 

My plan is also to offer Home Staging & Seasonal/Holiday decorating services as well. I haven't started a website yet, but I'm leaning more toward a blog. So I haven't ordered business cards yet because I want to put my web info on them. There are business details to work out, but I will get there. The portfolio and the experiences are what I need to do right now, so prayers going up that God will bless me in this endeavor!

Love, 

C

Raising Financially Responsible Teens

Telling our children NO is something many parents dislike doing. We WANT to give them the world! We want better for them than our parents were able to do for us. But one of the lessons I've learned is that by NOT giving them the world, I AM giving them the world! So how have I raised my children? Not how the Jones' Family has done it, that's for certain.

1.  When they're 16, they get a JOB.  I know, party-pooper Momma, right? Both of my girls got a job at Massanutten when they turned 16. Yes, until they hit the magic age of 16-and-3-months here in Virginia, I had to drive them to and from work each day. But they earned their own paycheck because I do not believe in entitlements.

2. They need to buy their own CAR.  The oldest child and we struck a deal when she turned 16 in September 2011. We would match her savings, dollar-for-dollar (up to $2000) toward her first car. Little sister had gotten to go to Europe for 10 days that year, and this seemed like a pretty fair compromise. If Em saved $2000, we would put up $2000. If she saved $50, we would pay $50. By the time she was ready to get her license in December, she had saved $943 working part-time. But then, it was Christmas time. Daddy has a talent with cars, and he had been working on one and had about $800 in it - a 1995 Pontiac Grand Prix that she REALLY liked. So we opted to give her the car for Christmas ONLY because it made no sense to spend $400 on her for Christmas for things she wouldn't love as much and then ask her for $400 toward her car! It was a different story with younger sister - she'd gotten that trip, so there was no offer of matching funds. While Daddy did purchase the 99 Explorer for her and get it in good running condition, she's been working and making payments on it.

3. CARS COST MONEY! Each of the girls was expected to pay $100 of the $250 Driver's Ed course. Each paid her own titles, taxes, and tags (about $100 in VA for the vehicles they have). Each pays their portion of the car insurance every single month. And each is responsible for her own gas, maintenance, and repairs. When the oldest whined about the cost of gas and how much it took to get to the vocational school, I reminded her that there was a FREE bus that ran from the high school each day. And when she asked for $20 to put gas in her tank until Friday, I loaned it to her only once. After that, I told her that the school bus stops at the end of the driveway, she needed to plan her expenses and budget for them. Taco Bell is not a necessity when there is food at home.

4. Always save for a Rainy Day  When the oldest graduated, she received about $1500 in cash gifts from friends & family. I lectured until I was blue in the face about stashing it away for while she would be at school, that she wouldn't have a job with an income. Her job would be school. She also worked full-time all summer. But when I took her to school, she had $10 in her bank account. She was dead broke and hated it. Grandma would slip money into her bank account every now and then, but Em learned that "Mother Knows Best". I heard her last week preaching to one of her friends that will graduate this year - "Save your graduation money!". Unfortunately, she learned that lesson the hard way. Now she's stashing cash again.

5. The 18-year-old pays Rent to live at Home.  Now before you chide me about being heartless, let's clarify this one. She wants her own apartment. We live in a college town, which means there is ample housing, and it's not cheap. She estimated that her living expenses in one of the apartments would run her about $400 per month. So now she pays that rent at home. Not only does it get her used to paying it on time each month, she's learning to live within her means. And what happens to all of that rent money? It's in an envelope in our safe, waiting for the day she decides to move out. I will hand it all back to her for things like deposits, stocking her pantry, toilet bowl cleaner... whatever she needs to successfully set up her own place.

My girls used to whine to me about all of their friends whose parents bought them brand new cars, their friends don't have to work, their friends don't have to pay for gas... Now they tell me, "I may have to pay for my own things, but I see how spoiled some of those kids are and I know that in the end I won't struggle or be calling Momma & Daddy when I can't pay my bills."

And that's the best compliment they could pay me. That I raised them to be responsible. It's not about the money as much as it is how to handle the money.

Lent

I often hear of folks giving up things like wine or chocolate for Lent. Ok, well, either of those would be harder than is necessary for me. 

I try to dig deep. Two years ago I gave up what I called "the razor edge of my tongue" and worked harder to restrain myself from telling people just how I felt. I felt good about it, and it really trained me to think before speaking.

This year I am giving up NEGATIVITY.  I admit, I can see the negative in someone or something and tend to make judgments about people based on whether I think they have half a brain. 

My friend Joni is such a positive, smiling person. You never hear her say anything that isn't uplifting or that doesn't raise people up. I admire this quality in her, and so for the Lenten season I will be focused on positive & inspiring thoughts, words, and actions. And I pray that God will help me with this, because when He leaves me in charge, things don't go as well. But I know that through Him, all things are possible. 

Love,

C

Took a Hiatus

I realize I'd only just begun, but sometimes life just gets in the way of being able to do what we set out to do. I know many can relate to that.

2013 was a pretty rough year at our home. In October, we had to put our dog down, and it seemed like things went downhill from there. It took all the Faith I could find to hang tight. In December, hubby's job of 22 years ceased to exist, and he finally found a new one in January and couldn't be happier at his new place of employment. The oldest decided college wasn't her thing and came home at the end of the semester. She's now working full-time and will return to cosmetology school in the fall. The middle child had her heart broken again in December and has slowly been returning to herself. The youngest has been maturing and growing into such a wonderful young man. And my baby sister moved here with her family a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, so we were helping them find a home (because my basement isn't big enough for a family of five - 2 adults, and three boys ages 5, 4, and now 4 months).

With all that being said, I hope to get back to regularly posting about what's going on in our little world. The snow keeps pounding us here in the Shenandoah Valley, it was 65 on Sunday and by Monday morning it was icy & snowy. School has been cancelled all week so far. The kids have lost all of their Spring Break - which is why I never plan to leave town during that week, as it usually happens that way. Momma's been pretty sick with a bronchial infection of some sort, and so I've been trying to take care of her and cover for her at work.

So what's going on these days that keeps me occupied? Travel Volleyball is every other weekend. Middle child plays as an outside hitter. She's now scouting colleges for either volleyball or tennis opportunities. Tennis season has started and their first scrimmage is Friday. My beloved Spotswood Blazer Basketball teams are both in the State 3A semi-finals this week. Each has only one loss so far this season. The girls were State Champs last year, the boys were the State runners-up. We definitely "Bleed Blazer Blue" at our house! The youngest is bummed that the weight room is closed for two weeks, he's into bodybuilding during the football off-season. Tonight is the Ash Wednesday service at church and hubby is leading every other week, which means I'm running the A/V system for him at practices and on Sundays when I'm not watching a volleyball tournament. Friday we went to the high school production of "High School Musical".

Needless to say, we don't stop. Looking forward to summer!

A Weekend of Tears

Today's post is more of a journal of how our family feels over the loss of our dear dog, Ashley.

In February 2001, the family (being hubby and the kids who were 5, 3, and 1 at the time) wanted a dog. So being SuperMom, I took the two younger ones with me to the SPCA. The oldest was in kindergarten at the time. We walked down past the pens, but I wasn't feeling it. All of the dogs were jumping up and barking, and I'm not a noise-and-chaos kinda gal. I went out front and told them I didn't see the dog for us. The attendant asked, "Did you see the little yellow one?" and I responded "No, let's look again." We went back and there she was, laying quietly on a blanket. She walked shyly to the gate and the attendant put a leash on her so I could take her outside. And she went potty! She was housetrained! So we brought her home and named her Ashley, our little Corgi-Beagle mix. The photo above was taken a couple months later, right after a visit to the groomers.

The past couple years had been difficult. Ashley was deaf and mostly blind. She had arthritis in her hips. But she was happy and could still find a playful streak (only with me), and had always had severe separation anxiety from me. Of all people. The non-dog lady. The groomer wouldn't take her anymore because it stressed her out too much, so I would take her to the vet to get her nails trimmed. A year ago she had torn her ACL and the vet knew we weren't ready to say good-bye. She stopped going down the stairs, and we had built a deck that would take her to ground level out the back of the house so she could go outside.

Friday night was rough. She was up every couple hours needing out, and then about 3 AM she had an accident in our bathroom and hubby found blood in her urine. We knew it was time. My momma took her on her final vet trip Saturday morning and I cried the rest of the weekend. I cry now typing this.

Ashley, you were the best dog ever. You can never be replaced. We all loved you.

Surviving a Painful Church Conflict

Conflict in a church is nothing new. Read 1 Corinthians or Galatians. Both are full of problems within a church. And if your church has never faced conflict within, be prepared. It could be coming.

I believe Satan targeted our little country church. We were growing like crazy. Our contemporary service was packed every week - we were averaging 90-100 people in a sanctuary that will hold about 120. Our traditional service was also bringing in another 80-90 every single week. Folks were finding God!

But we are humans, with human weaknesses. Pride (and those who sought their own glory and not God's), within individuals and groups alike, started tearing us apart. And unfortunately, it was the Pastor who led the divisiveness. By the time he left in June, the contemporary service had 30-40 in attendance on average and the traditional was down to about 60. My own family had pretty much stopped going. To say it was painful was an understatement.

Thankfully, God sent us a shepherd that was a Healer. Throughout this year of turmoil, I held on to God's promise in Jeremiah 23:1-4:

"How terrible it will be for the leaders of Judah, who are scattering and destroying my people," says the Lord. They are responsible for the people, so the Lord, God of Israel, says to them: "You have scattered my people and forced them away and not taken care of them. So I will punish you for the evil things you have done," says the Lord. "I sent my people to other countries, but I will gather those who are left alive and bring them back to their own country. Then they will have many children and grow in number. I will place new leaders over my people who will take care of them. And my people will not be afraid or terrified again, and none of them will be lost," says the Lord.

I admit, I kept trying to leave. Hubby didn't want to go somewhere else anymore than I did, and no matter how many other churches we visited, none felt "right". Oh, we of little faith! God had us in His hand all along, and He had a plan for His people.

It took GRACE to start the healing process within the church. One man, who was willing to step into the "darkness" and reach out a hand to the other side. During the "conflict", the contemporary Praise Team had been replaced by a group that followed the previous pastor's agenda. They had never been to the contemporary service, and they were convinced that "we didn't know how to worship". They were going to "show us how it should be done". But one man, a member of the former praise team and the back-up worship leader, listened to what he knew God was calling him to do, even though he didn't want to do it. He went to the music practice and started guiding them toward the contemporary music we all knew and loved. He was gracious and kind to everyone who had pushed us out. And God worked His miracles within our church. The new pastor was willing to let the man lead the service as he had done before. And the new pastor was blown away. The Holy Spirit could be felt in the church again. Families who had left came back. Children once again attended church. The Body of Christ was once again being made whole. All because this one man showed the love of Jesus to those who hated what he stood for.

This story doesn't come without a cost. In the first couple weeks of the man stepping up, the other group issued an ultimatum to the new pastor about who is allowed to lead worship, and who wasn't even welcome to attend the church or help lead the contemporary service. They told the pastor if certain people were allowed to participate, they would leave. And the new pastor, who didn't know he was being dropped into a hornet's nest, stood his ground. This is God's House, we don't get to pick & choose who is welcome or who is not. All people are welcome. While my heart rejoices that the church is healing, it also breaks for those who left and were led astray by the previous pastor. I pray for them often, as I understand the level of pain that conflict in a church can cause.

Jesus was a model for us to follow. Love each other. Show grace and mercy. And while we are human, and prone to human mistakes, the first steps of healing were taken by one humble man. Imagine what the world would be like if we all showed just a little more love, a little more grace, and a little more humility.

Love,
C