Today's post is more of a journal of how our family feels over the loss of our dear dog, Ashley.
In February 2001, the family (being hubby and the kids who were 5, 3, and 1 at the time) wanted a dog. So being SuperMom, I took the two younger ones with me to the SPCA. The oldest was in kindergarten at the time. We walked down past the pens, but I wasn't feeling it. All of the dogs were jumping up and barking, and I'm not a noise-and-chaos kinda gal. I went out front and told them I didn't see the dog for us. The attendant asked, "Did you see the little yellow one?" and I responded "No, let's look again." We went back and there she was, laying quietly on a blanket. She walked shyly to the gate and the attendant put a leash on her so I could take her outside. And she went potty! She was housetrained! So we brought her home and named her Ashley, our little Corgi-Beagle mix. The photo above was taken a couple months later, right after a visit to the groomers.
The past couple years had been difficult. Ashley was deaf and mostly blind. She had arthritis in her hips. But she was happy and could still find a playful streak (only with me), and had always had severe separation anxiety from me. Of all people. The non-dog lady. The groomer wouldn't take her anymore because it stressed her out too much, so I would take her to the vet to get her nails trimmed. A year ago she had torn her ACL and the vet knew we weren't ready to say good-bye. She stopped going down the stairs, and we had built a deck that would take her to ground level out the back of the house so she could go outside.
Friday night was rough. She was up every couple hours needing out, and then about 3 AM she had an accident in our bathroom and hubby found blood in her urine. We knew it was time. My momma took her on her final vet trip Saturday morning and I cried the rest of the weekend. I cry now typing this.
Ashley, you were the best dog ever. You can never be replaced. We all loved you.
Conflict in a church is nothing new. Read 1 Corinthians or Galatians. Both are full of problems within a church. And if your church has never faced conflict within, be prepared. It could be coming.
I believe Satan targeted our little country church. We were growing like crazy. Our contemporary service was packed every week - we were averaging 90-100 people in a sanctuary that will hold about 120. Our traditional service was also bringing in another 80-90 every single week. Folks were finding God!
But we are humans, with human weaknesses. Pride (and those who sought their own glory and not God's), within individuals and groups alike, started tearing us apart. And unfortunately, it was the Pastor who led the divisiveness. By the time he left in June, the contemporary service had 30-40 in attendance on average and the traditional was down to about 60. My own family had pretty much stopped going. To say it was painful was an understatement.
Thankfully, God sent us a shepherd that was a Healer. Throughout this year of turmoil, I held on to God's promise in Jeremiah 23:1-4:
"How terrible it will be for the leaders of Judah, who are scattering and destroying my people," says the Lord. They are responsible for the people, so the Lord, God of Israel, says to them: "You have scattered my people and forced them away and not taken care of them. So I will punish you for the evil things you have done," says the Lord. "I sent my people to other countries, but I will gather those who are left alive and bring them back to their own country. Then they will have many children and grow in number. I will place new leaders over my people who will take care of them. And my people will not be afraid or terrified again, and none of them will be lost," says the Lord.
I admit, I kept trying to leave. Hubby didn't want to go somewhere else anymore than I did, and no matter how many other churches we visited, none felt "right". Oh, we of little faith! God had us in His hand all along, and He had a plan for His people.
It took GRACE to start the healing process within the church. One man, who was willing to step into the "darkness" and reach out a hand to the other side. During the "conflict", the contemporary Praise Team had been replaced by a group that followed the previous pastor's agenda. They had never been to the contemporary service, and they were convinced that "we didn't know how to worship". They were going to "show us how it should be done". But one man, a member of the former praise team and the back-up worship leader, listened to what he knew God was calling him to do, even though he didn't want to do it. He went to the music practice and started guiding them toward the contemporary music we all knew and loved. He was gracious and kind to everyone who had pushed us out. And God worked His miracles within our church. The new pastor was willing to let the man lead the service as he had done before. And the new pastor was blown away. The Holy Spirit could be felt in the church again. Families who had left came back. Children once again attended church. The Body of Christ was once again being made whole. All because this one man showed the love of Jesus to those who hated what he stood for.
This story doesn't come without a cost. In the first couple weeks of the man stepping up, the other group issued an ultimatum to the new pastor about who is allowed to lead worship, and who wasn't even welcome to attend the church or help lead the contemporary service. They told the pastor if certain people were allowed to participate, they would leave. And the new pastor, who didn't know he was being dropped into a hornet's nest, stood his ground. This is God's House, we don't get to pick & choose who is welcome or who is not. All people are welcome. While my heart rejoices that the church is healing, it also breaks for those who left and were led astray by the previous pastor. I pray for them often, as I understand the level of pain that conflict in a church can cause.
Jesus was a model for us to follow. Love each other. Show grace and mercy. And while we are human, and prone to human mistakes, the first steps of healing were taken by one humble man. Imagine what the world would be like if we all showed just a little more love, a little more grace, and a little more humility.
This past weekend was Homecoming at Spotswood, so Saturday was spent doing hair and makeup to get ready for the big date. My daughter's boyfriend was chosen Homecoming King and of course, she's our little Princess, hence the post title.
Just sharing my proud Momma moment - these two kids are such amazing young people and we couldn't be prouder. Both rely on their faith in God through those tough times, both are hard workers, and both are very strong in their beliefs and willing to go "against the teenage grain" to do the right thing.
And of course, here is *my* king, with his princess...
I'm all about "making memories". Forget the material stuff, I love the things you can never take away - experiences with family & friends. But every year, time slips past us. Not this year!! I've made a Fall Bucket List for us.
Can I guarantee we do it all? Of course not. But my kids are now 18, 16, and 13, which means time is ticking away. Some of these they won't do with us. The oldest is at school, the middle one is busy 24/7, and the youngest isn't interested in much more than his X-box.
And just in case the graphic isn't showing, here's our list:
Picnic at Vineyard
Plant mums
Attend the high school Homecoming Game (which we did, and my beloved Spotswood Blazers won 35-0!)
Watch "Hocus Pocus"
Sip apple cider
Go apple picking and make homemade pies
Attend Oktoberfest
Take a drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway as the leaves are peaking
Make crafts for the church Bazaar
Create shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child
Start on handmade Christmas gifts
Winterize the yard and plant bulbs for next year
Go pumpkin picking
Homemade chili & cornbread
Visit Fear Forest
Shop the craft vendors at Fall Festivals
Sit around a bonfire & make s'mores
Decorate the house for fall (check!)
Host a Halloween Party (may not happen this year due to the football schedule we have)
Play flag football
Attend a JMU football game & tailgate before with friends
Crochet a blanket
Have an "unplugged" day - no phones, TV, or computers.
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I compiled these from things I want to do, as well as ideas I saw on Pinterest. Please share your additions in the comments section.
The oldest called and wants to come home for the weekend. Actually, she wanted to come home last weekend, but we were so overbooked there was just no way to pull it off. So on Thursday I'll be driving over to Norfolk, 3.5 hours away, and picking her up so we can get back home again in time for little brother's football game and little sister's volleyball game.
So that brings me to Quality Time... yes, she's homesick, but I wonder if it's homesick for us or for her friends and her car? She's an introvert and usually when she's home, hides in her bedroom with her laptop in her pajamas. I know we'll be in the car together on the way back, but beyond that, how much of the three days she's with me will I get to see her?
I wonder how divorced parents do this. Seeing their children on specified weekends. I've watched some of the kids' friends who couldn't do a sleepover because it was a certain parent's weekend, and I don't want to be that mom. But if I'm the one going to get her because she's homesick, I feel I should get priority "visitation" over her friends.
We'll see how this all works out this weekend. Due to the distance, I won't be going back to get her until Thanksgiving. I'd hoped she would hang in there longer before coming home, it's been just shy of a month since we took her to school, but I don't want her throwing in the towel, either. Something tells me she might just transfer to a school a little closer to home next year, but time will tell.
Nothing excites me more than decorating. It's an addiction. I've painted the house in neutrals because I'm so fickle and change the accessories so often.
So now that it's almost technically Autumn, I've been working on putting out the festive decorations that will take us through Thanksgiving. And I love to share, so here's a tour of what I've done so far. Keep in mind, it's always a work in progress. I'll find things throughout the season and incorporate them. Things get moved to new spots when I find something better.
The front porch:
I definitely need more leaf garlands. I like to swag them or wrap them around the top of the rail, but seem to have a shortage. Unless there is a box hidden in the attic that I missed, I used to have enough, but they do take some wear & tear being outdoors for three months of the year. I usually find them at Michael's. On the porch lights, I use yarn to tie leaf swags. It's easy to tie, blends, and is even easier to remove.
This adorable wheelbarrow was something my Momma found at the Church Bazaar last year. Filled with hay at the bottom and lots of pumpkins and some random leaves and flowers. I'm really thinking a big pot of mums need to go in here... I keep it out year-round and change what it's filled with.
The Living Room:
We don't have an actual foyer, but I use furniture placement to divide the very large living room. The Blanket Chest is from Charles Neil and the wall art came from Southern Living at Home. I've put a simple centerpiece that was found last year at Big Lots. While I love Southern Living, Pottery Barn, Pier 1, etc., I'm always on the hunt and will not leave a decoration behind just because it came from Big Lots, Family Dollar, or even the Goodwill store. I score well at Cracker Barrel, too.
Love these apothecary jars! Picked them up for about $10 each at TJ Maxx. The large one is full of fall pumpkins and leaves from Big Lots, the tall one has some candy, and the short one is full of candy corn I got in the bulk section at Martin's Grocery store.
My mantel is my pride & joy in this room, mostly because that wall needed a fireplace and the house wasn't built with one. So I found one on Craigslist for $100, built a "hearth" out of 2x4s and plywood, and covered the hearth and inside the mantel with peel & stick tiles. The candelabra came from Southern Living at Home and the fireplace screen was something I'd traded a friend hubby's unused weight bench for. I used Command strips to hang the garland (aren't those AWESOME???). Across the mantel is a candy dish with a candle ring inside, a set of 3 iron pillar candleholders I bought years ago at Walmart (candles came from Big Lots), a family photo, a praying angel (SLAH), a trifle dish full of different color beans (SLAH), and a wire pumpkin candleholder (sorry, can't remember where it was bought, but I've had it several years). The red dishes are also SL@H. The glittery pumpkins and the metal pumpkin that are on the hearth were all found at Family Dollar.
The Dining Room:
I try not to overdo it on the table, as we eat there on any evening we are actually home for dinner. Just a simple table runner (Big Lots) with a centerpiece that can easily be moved (SLAH).
The piesafe in the corner offers a great place for another vignette. Most of these accessories are Southern Living at Home, but I found the pumpkin baskets for 75 cents each at Goodwill, a vase of fall flowers behind the picture to add more color, and let it be. Most of these are on my mantel during the "off" season.
I've had this hutch for 20 years and when we bought our current home 8 years ago, my Momma repainted it for me in this beautiful olivey-sage green. Again, the accessories are a mix of Southern Living, Big Lots, Family Dollar, and I even had a scarf that I wasn't so fond of wearing but looked great pooled around the little lamp.
The Kitchen:
The breakfast area of our kitchen is decorated, although the placemats, plates on the wall, and red accessories are there almost year-round. Plates on wall & placemats were bought at Pier 1 earlier this year, the dishes & plate rack are Southern Living at Home. The doughbox is from Charles Neil. And a close-up of the shelf:
They all thought I was crazy when I hauled this shelf home from Goodwill for $2.95. After painting it white, I screwed it directly into the studs. Command hooks hold the garland under the top shelf. It's decorated with many pieces I've had for years, but a few newbies have been found at Rite Aid, Family Dollar and Big Lots.
No, I don't think I'm done decorating for fall yet, but with some Scentsy (my baby sis is a consultant, gotta give her a link here!) in the warmers and a chill in the air, I'm ready for Fall, y'all! This part has been easy, it takes me weeks to finish putting out the Christmas stuff.
I admit, I walk around singing this to my three children when they don't do as I recommend. And I do it in a high falsetto-soprano-kind-of-way. Annoys them, which is part of my job description.
Last week, we took the oldest to college. I thought sending her off to kindergarten was tough! She's my most independent child, and is already homesick. It's very hard for Momma to deal when she's four hours away in a large metro area, when we are from the mountains of Virginia.
Yes, I've cried quite a bit the past week. More than I thought I would. But my dear bestie sent me this devotional the other day:
"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8 (NLT)
If there is one thing I'm known for, it's crying.
When one of my little ones scraped their knee, didn't make the sports team, or were hurt by a friend's harsh words ... I cried.
The first time my sixteen-year-old daughter pulled out of the driveway with her new license, when a boy broke her heart, and as she strolled across the stage last year in her blue graduation gown, I cried.
So when it came time to move her into her dorm room a couple months later, I feared my tears might be uncontrollable.
Although I was proud she was going to college, and it was time for her to spread her wings, the thought of her leaving seemed unbearable. The idea of not seeing her sweet smile every day, coupled with concern over her well-being, made my heart heavy.
I had a flashback of tears shed many years ago as my little girl, dressed in her tiny denim skirt and purple butterfly shirt, stood waving goodbye from the door of her kindergarten room. As I turned to leave my daughter in her dorm room, my waterworks started.
There were tears of happiness, gratitude and excitement. Tears of sadness, anxiety and motherly worry.
A part of me wondered if I should be crying in this situation. Many mothers would be thrilled to be dropping a child off at college. Was I being selfish with my tears?
In that moment of mixed emotions, I desperately needed God's comfort and reassurance, and I found it in Psalm 56:8.
In Psalm 56:8, God reminds us He is intimately concerned with every aspect of our lives. God doesn't judge whether our sorrow is "valid." But because of His compassion, He catches every tear that is shed. It doesn't matter how big or small, trivial or important, the sorrow might be.
In this Psalm, David expressed grief over his situation, which was truly dangerous. Saul wanted his own son to be king of Israel and was hunting David in order to murder him.
This forced David to constantly be on the move as he tried to escape. David was grieved, fearful and unsure about the future. Apparently tears flowed as he poured out his feelings to God. "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book" (Psalm 56:8).
David drew comfort in knowing that no matter what he was going through, God had great compassion on him and gathered all his precious tears in a bottle. David trusted God with his life and his future. He wasn't embarrassed about his tears, and we need not be either, even when we wish we could hold them back.
Life challenges us. Children grow. Seasons of change bump into our normal status quo. When this happens, tears often spring up and efforts to contain them fall short.
Dropping your child off at kindergarten, college or any grade in between can evoke a variety of anxieties and emotions. As back-to-school season approaches, let's remember God has compassion on us and our children.
He is present with every tear shed, and we can count on Him to collect them. No matter what sorrow we face today, we can have confidence God cares.
Dear Lord, thank You for loving my children even more than I do and for having compassion on them and me. Help me feel Your comfort and reassurance when I face new seasons of life and emotional challenges as a mother. Please tuck my babies under Your wing, guide them in their decisions and keep them safe. Amen.
So as I embark on this writing adventure, I leave you with a video:
